I'm waking up at 3 am with Jackson, and end up nursing him until about 7. For some reason this is his favorite time to cluster-feed. On the bright side, he sleeps for 6 hours a night (longer if I can manage to get him to bed earlier), just not exactly when I want to be sleeping. No matter how many times I think he's fallen asleep, and I put him back in his crib, he still wakes up 15 minutes later. About 6 or 7 am, I'm so tired of sitting on the couch or in the rocking chair, and I miss my sheets so much, that Jack ends up back in bed with Jason and me. (Although I promised myself at the beginning I would never breastfeed while laying down and dozing, I've since wizened up and perfected the art).
And to those of you that say, "Nap when the baby naps"... That would work if either baby *or* toddler would nap...
I think to myself that there's no way I'll be able to get through the day after being up all night. Then Jack officially wakes up for the day, gives me a great big smile, and tells me in his own garbling language how much he loves me.
As if that isn't enough to turn around my outlook on the day, Lucas wakes up, opens his door (yes, he just learned), runs to my room, climbs in bed with us, and shouts, "Mommy I'm awake!!!"
This transition period in our lives seems so stressful at times, but with God's help, I'm learning to love and live for the beautiful little things.
I get frustrated with how much I have to nurse my baby and how I seem to be the only one able to calm him down. But I love how he wants *me* to be the one to comfort him, and how (when I do) he just melts right into my arms.
I get frustrated when Lucas fights us when we ask him to go do something. But I love how, amidst the crying, he says, "But I want to be with my Mommy!"
Tonight I got to rock *both* of my boys to sleep. That never happens!! (Jack always wants to nurse to sleep and Lucas can almost never fall asleep in someone's arms).
I'm exhausted... But I am blessed!